Just when ya thought. . . . .

Before the holidays I went on a date with a boy that I thought was so great. I met him at church, he talked about his heart and everything seemed to line up. Well after a great date this boy never called. Never sent a Happy Christmas or Happy New Year text message. . . nothing. I was bummed. I was definitely not expecting it. A few weeks after the date I sent a text message and he didn't know my number. . bad sign. I again was super bummed. The church I go to began a series called, "Balanced" and it is all about being financially balanced. After the first sermon in the series something clicked in my heart. I am an unbalanced person when it comes to finances. I can't enter a marriage much less a relationship being like this. My priorities are not straight and I don't want to carry that into anything else that I do. Papa wants to use me but I am in financial chains that only allow me to do so much for Him. That week I started Dave Ramsey class and I have begun to assess my debt and am taking the proper avenues to rid myself of the chains. But back to the boy, the other evening I got a series of texts from him. They seemed strange and not really like "him". I was really confused. The guy texting me seemed a little "jerkish". The next day the text messages turned to topics that I am too classy to discuss and jokes that I don't find humourous at all. I was completely dumbfounded by this guy. He seemed SO GREAT! I mean it was one of the best first dates I have EVER been on. I was left really confused. After the last distasteful joke came thru on my phone I picked up the phone and called him. I thought for sure someone else had his phone, there was no way this was the same guy. Well, I was wrong. I was pissed, he stumbled for a few words. It was a short conversation in which I stated to please not send me texts like that, I do not appreciate it and I meant when I said I was classier than that. He apologized and that was that. I'm over the initial aspect of it, but what keeps going through my mind is that I was so blinded by what I wanted to see that I probably overlooked a lot of stuff. The thing that clicked in my heart at that sermon was that I was so incredibly obsessed with getting married, "finding the one". This stuff is important sure, but it's not IT. I decided on that Sunday that I'm not dating for serious relationships or marriage. Dating for me right now has to be all about meeting people and becoming comfortable in these situations. I trust Papa now more than ever. He knows everyone's heart. While I don't think that this boy is a bad person or has a bad heart I know that his heart is not what Papa would have for me. I am so grateful to have a Heavenly Father that is keeping my best in mind when dealing with me. He wants me to progress, to become the woman He imagined when He was designing me. He knows me better than I know myself and he knows the heart of each person I associate with. He knows which friendships are best for me as well as which dating relationships. I am so grateful that He has me here waiting. I am learning to love the waiting place, He is in control here and I am so out of control and I couldn't be happier or more optimistic in resting in that. When life seems uneventful and drab I know that it is all working together for His good.